People are scared of the truth, especially when there's a chance that telling the truth might result in one's termination of employment. I have the tendency of insisting on details in a way that might sound like I am nagging. But this is because I learnt from father that having all the available information is better than just knowing the good bits. Good bits don't challenge you to make improvements. I know I have to learn to be patient with people. I have to be warm and welcoming. People do not feel at ease when they have to admit their faults. It's even more difficult to admit one's fault to someone who is known to be overly critical. I must insist on the whole truth without having to install security cameras. I have to be honest even when I don't want to.
2- Know people
I have to go beyond the CV. I need to know their children's names. I need to know their wife's birthday. I need to make them part of my family. I need to spend time with them outside of the regular working hours. I need to know their struggles. I need to know that she had a miscarriage or that he lost his grandmother or that he's failing in his night school degree. They are dedicating most of their waking hours to my dream. I need to show them that I care for their dreams.
3- Know people's abilities
People will write anything on a CV, just to get their foot in the door. I might try to make my selection process as thorough as I can but nothing is infallible. I have my gullible moments. But once they are in and we have an agreement of sorts, I need to know their actual abilities. In my current job, I was perpetually afraid that my supervisor will spot my weaknesses and call me out on them. And she has done that, several times. But that process is more useful than bickering about my faults behind my back or writing emails to the entire office detailing how disappointed she is with my work. I do not need to guess what she wants from me. She knows exactly what I can and cannot do. I know exactly what she wants from me and together we know what needs to happen to get me from where I am to where I should be. No guessing. No assuming. No jokes.
3- Do not compare
No two people are alike. That's obvious. So why do I keep hearing people asking me to do something like so and so. I do not have the stamina or enthusiam that they have but I have my own quiet way of doing things. It takes people a while to see that. But eventually they do see it. 8 weeks later they see that the quiet endless humming makes for a good song too. But that's my way. I cannot expect someone else to see it that way. I have to use their vision.I have to, if only for a moment, sing their song if there's any chance that this choir will work out. Furthermore, I cannot force them all to sing the same melody. I must let them rhyme and chime till it makes a wonderful masterpiece. I must be patient to iron out the knots and kinks.
4- Value - the difference between how to treat people and how to treat dogs
People are not like dogs. You should not treat them like you can return them to the pound and get a better one.
5- Have a latino fiesta
Or an Indian party or a tea party or a good old braai. Any excuse to roast some meat and share some wine. Because laughter and good times make for better memories than gloomy boardroom type meetings. I am not a fun person, not by most people's definitions. But I am willing to try to learn.
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